am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
