pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize