In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
