You made me cry and you don't even care
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize