i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
