He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
