If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you would pick up someone in the library
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
