just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize