There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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