From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
