forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
