I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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