oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
