i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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