I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
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I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize