I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
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My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
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I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize