What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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