My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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