Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
