There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
