I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
