Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
