If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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