That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
