So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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