Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
