Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
