just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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