Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize