I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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