No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize