i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize