But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
