Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize