people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
