Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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