At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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