remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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