Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
