She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
