Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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