I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm always down for nudity.
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