We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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