You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
