DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
did you just send me my own nude
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
