Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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