i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
