I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
