yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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