absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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