I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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