I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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