We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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