Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
