Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
