I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
