We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
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