After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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